When You Need the Church
A pastoral care cheat sheet for sickness, struggle, healing, and the sacramental life of Christ Church
As Christ Church continues to grow, both in participation and in spiritual depth and maturity, it is important from time to time that we review some of the practical systems that support our common life together.
Pastoral care is one of those places where the practical and theological meet. What do I do when I am sick? Who do I call when someone I love is dying? Can I ask a priest to pray for me even if my problem does not seem particularly “serious”? What if my marriage is struggling, I am grieving, or I simply feel spiritually lost? What does the Church actually offer when medicine cannot cure, words cannot fix, or we simply do not know what to do next?
As Anglicans and Episcopalians, we believe that God cares for the whole person: mind, body, and spirit. We also believe that Christians are given to one another so that none of us has to suffer, rejoice, grieve, heal, live, or die entirely alone.
So, consider this a cheat sheet for the pastoral and sacramental life of Christ Church.
I am sick, hurting, anxious, or struggling. What does the Church offer?
Prayer, always. And, when appropriate, the Church offers the ancient ministry of anointing, or unction.
On most Sundays when at least two clergy are present at the 10:30 liturgy, the Sacrament of Unction is offered during Holy Communion near the oratory and icons. You may come forward for yourself or on behalf of someone else.
The priest anoints the person with OI, the Oil of the Infirm, oil blessed and set apart specifically for the Church's ministry to those who suffer in mind, body, or spirit. It is also the oil we use when ministering to those who are gravely ill or approaching death.
You do not need to be dying to receive unction. You do not even need to be physically sick. Illness, anxiety, grief, addiction, depression, spiritual distress, a frightening diagnosis, concern for someone you love, or simply a season in which you need God's healing grace are all reasons to come forward.
And remember: Christian healing does not always mean physical cure. We pray boldly for healing, but unction is not magic, nor is continued illness evidence of deficient faith. Sometimes healing comes through recovery. Sometimes through medicine. Sometimes through reconciliation, peace, courage, acceptance, or the strength to endure. And ultimately, Christian hope rests in the healing God has promised to complete in resurrection.
Who should I contact when I need pastoral care?
Any of us.
You may contact Fr. Ben, Fr. Lenworth, or Dcn. Jess anytime you need prayer, counsel, or pastoral assistance because you are suffering in mind, body, or spirit.
People sometimes think they should only call clergy when someone is in the hospital or something catastrophic has happened. That simply is not true.
A text saying, “I'm really struggling today. Could you pray for me?” is enough.
Fr. Lenworth oversees our pastoral care ministry and is ordinarily the best first contact. However, the three of us communicate regularly about the pastoral needs of the parish, so you may text or email one or all of us, or simply call whichever member of the clergy you can reach.
You are not bothering us. This is part of what we were ordained to do.
I am in the hospital, homebound, or unable to come to church. What should I do?
Tell us!
Please do not assume that we know you are hospitalized. Hospitals and healthcare facilities generally cannot simply notify your church that you have been admitted. Likewise, friends and family members sometimes assume that somebody else has already called us.
We would much rather receive the same news three times than never receive it at all.
We can visit you at home, in the hospital, in hospice, or in a care facility. We can pray with you, anoint you, sit with you, and bring the sacramental life of the Church to you.
Being unable to come to church does not mean being separated from the Church.
Holy Communion can be brought to those who cannot attend Sunday worship. If illness, surgery, disability, or another circumstance keeps you from the Eucharistic assembly, please let us know.
Someone I love is dying. What do I do?
Call us. Do not worry about the hour or whether you are inconveniencing us.
Call Fr. Ben, Fr. Lenworth, or Dcn. Jess. A text is perfectly acceptable, but when death appears imminent, a phone call is usually best because time may matter.
The Book of Common Prayer provides a beautiful and ancient ministry called Ministration at the Time of Death. It includes prayers commending the dying person into the mercy and keeping of God and, when appropriate, may be accompanied by anointing, reconciliation and absolution, and Holy Communion.
This is what people often mean when they speak of the “Last Rites.”
We will come to the home, hospital, hospice, or care facility whenever reasonably possible. These prayers are among the most sacred ministries entrusted to the clergy of the Church: to stand with a Christian and those who love them as earthly life draws to its close, proclaiming that even death cannot separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
If death seems near, please call sooner rather than later. You do not have to wait until the final minutes of someone's life.
My marriage is struggling. I am grieving. I am lonely, angry, confused, or spiritually lost. Is that serious enough to call?
Yes.
Pastoral care is not limited to hospitals and funerals.
Marriage difficulties, family conflict, grief, loneliness, questions of faith, vocational discernment, guilt, fear, major life transitions, or simply feeling spiritually stuck are all appropriate reasons to talk with your clergy.
Any of us is happy to make an appointment for pastoral conversation and spiritual counsel.
Clergy, however, are pastors, not substitutes for physicians, psychologists, or licensed therapists. When a situation requires expertise beyond our training or appropriate pastoral role, we will encourage and help you seek professional care. As a general rule of thumb, we are attentive to whether several pastoral conversations reveal a need for longer-term or specialized counseling.
Referral is not a failure of pastoral care. Sometimes helping someone find the right professional is precisely what good pastoral care requires.
What if this is an actual emergency?
Call 911 or the appropriate emergency service first, and then call us.
If someone is experiencing a medical emergency, is in immediate danger of harming themselves or another person, or needs immediate protection, clergy should not be the first or only call.
Get emergency help underway. Then call us.
We want to be with you, pray with you, meet you at the hospital, and help you through what comes next.
Is what I tell the clergy confidential?
Pastoral conversations are treated with great care and discretion. We recognize that people often entrust clergy with some of the most vulnerable parts of their lives.
We will always treat pastoral conversations as completely confidential from the outset. There are circumstances, however, in which Georgia law, safeguarding responsibilities, or the protection of another person may affect what a member of the clergy can keep confidential. If confidentiality is especially important to a conversation, you are always welcome to ask the clergy about its limits before sharing.
Sacramental confession is different. The secrecy of a confession made within the Church's sacramental Rite of Reconciliation is protected with particular seriousness by the discipline of the Church. The seal of confession is binding and legally protected.
If you need confession, ask a priest. There is no shame in it. Reconciliation is one of the gifts Christ has given his Church.
What about Baptism, Confirmation, Reception, Marriage, Burial, or the Memorial Garden?
Talk to us!
Providing for the worship and sacramental life of the Church is among the highest and primary callings of your clergy.
If you or your child needs to be baptized, if you would like to be confirmed or received into the Episcopal Church, if you are discerning marriage, if you want to make funeral plans in advance, or if you are considering burial in the Christ Church Memorial Garden, please begin the conversation with us.
You do not need to know the process before calling. Helping you navigate the process is our job.
How do I reach the clergy?
The Rev'd Fr. Ben Day, Rector
frben@christchurchkennesaw.com
(404) 909-3467
The Rev'd Fr. Lenworth Haughton, Associate Rector
frlenworth@christchurchkennesaw.com
(954) 609-1266
Oversees the parish's pastoral care ministry
The Rev'd Dcn. Jess Speaker III, Parish Deacon
deaconjess@christchurchkennesaw.com
(301) 648-7584
Save these numbers in your phone. You may call, text, or email.
Finally, one rule worth remembering…
Please don't assume we know.
We cannot pray with you about something we do not know is happening. We cannot visit a hospital room we do not know you are in. We cannot bring Communion to someone we do not know is homebound. And we cannot accompany a family through crisis, grief, or death if everyone assumes somebody else has called.
The Church is not merely the place we gather on Sunday morning. It is the Body of Christ, and belonging to that Body means that when one member suffers, we suffer together; when one rejoices, we rejoice together; when one is weak, others gather around them; and when one approaches death, the Church stands beside them and speaks again the promises made at their Baptism.
So call us.
Whether the need is great or small, whether the suffering is in mind, body, or spirit, whether you need counsel, Communion, anointing, confession, prayer, or simply another Christian to sit beside you for a while, you do not have to carry it alone.
That is not an interruption of the Church's ministry.
That is the Church's ministry.
